And so it begins.  2012 is about over, and 2013 is here to bite us in our "holiday enlarged" butt.  New Year's resolutions have been made.  Many (and I do mean MANY) of you are resolving to make 2013 your year to get in shape, shed those extra pounds you've packed on, and look sexy in your mom jeans again.  You have heard all the hype about fad diets, read up on the latest fitness craze, and swear by products that Dr. Oz and other highly overpaid Hollywood doctors endorse.  I am here to tell you the truth, because, let's face it, if you've read my past blogs, you know I don't sugar coat (which adds calories, anyways).

Here it is.  No sugar coating about it.  This is your motivation.  Take it for what it's worth.  It's real.  It is not some stupid powdered shake in a can, it's not a matter of switching from Coca Cola to Diet Coke, it is not Weight Watchers.  This is the raw, proven method that has worked wonders around the world for thousands of years.  Are you ready?  Wait for it...

QUIT EATING SHIT AND GO WORK OUT.  Plain and simple.  Let me give you some pointers that are going to guide you through this "miraculous" weight loss/dream body process.  You ask yourself, "who is this broad, thinking she knows it all?"  Let me tell you, I know, because I see miracles everyday.  I am a personal trainer who has the joy of working out with some pretty incredible people daily.  These people are so committed to a healthy lifestyle, their energy beams from them like a spotlight.  I love these people, and wish that more of society would take this approach, instead of the, "my knee hurts.  I can't do that.  I think I'll eat a Snicker's bar instead" attitude.  Don't be a whiner.  You can do this.  Believe me.  Believe in yourself.  Quit slackin' and make shit happen.  I will start with the basics:

1. Wake up every morning with your first thought being, "I'm awesome.  I'm going to kick some ass today."  It's time to shake those negative attitudes.  They're pretty much the only thing holding you back.  
2. Food ingredients such as sodium stearoyl lactylate, polysorbate 60, sucralose, and saccharin do not grow on trees or plants.  They were created in a lab.  By chemists.  Therefore, they are not intended for human consumption.  Rule of thumb: if you can not pronounce the ingredients of a food, put it back on the shelf or throw it out.  Don't you find it ironic that when these "unpronounceable items" started showing up in our food, our rate of obesity, cancers, and chronic illness skyrocketed? 
3. Don't be fooled by labels containing "all natural" ingredients.  Buy organic (see #4), and ALWAYS read the label.  "All natural" doesn't mean that it's good for you.  It simply means that, in the instance of meat or dairy, the farmer used "all natural" growth hormones in his livestock to boost production instead of chemically produced.  Why do you think children (especially young girls) are developing so early?  Because they are pumped full of hormones, silly.
4. Buy Organic.  Sure, organic may cost a little more, but you will see, taste, and feel the difference.  Once you start watching your portions and eating habits (discussed later), you will actually see the cost effectiveness of buying organic.  The meals will yield double.  And buying organic foods is certainly cheaper than treating diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, or obesity, right?  
5. Stay away from canned goods as much as possible.  Buy fresh fruits and vegetables. Hit up a local produce stand.  Not only does fresh produce contain more vitamins and minerals without all the added preservatives, you're also supporting local farmers.  It's a win-win!
6. It's a new year.  Time to clean out that refrigerator and pantry.  Yes, that's right.  Time to make good on a promise to donate to the local soup kitchens.  Study labels.  Can't pronounce an ingredient?  Donate it or pitch it.  
7. Reduce your sodium intake.  About 1500 mg per day is recommended by the CDC.  Reducing sodium intake will lower your blood pressure, shed water weight, and make you lose that bloated feeling.  Sodium sneaks up on us in almost all foods.  Check your canned goods.  Sodium?  Yeah.  Donate that.  *Note: it's not that I don't care about our homeless/less fortunate population, I just don't want that food to go to waste when people are hungry*  
8. Synthetic (man made) stuff=garbage.  I can't say this enough.  This applies to vitamins as well.  If you're going to take a multi-vitamin, check out a local health food store.  GNC and other large chain products are full of synthetic garbage.  You might as well flush your hard-earned cash down the shitter. Also, these products aren't monitored by the Food and Drug Administration, so for all we know, they're just feeding us a bunch of goat ass holes compressed into pill form.  
9. Drink plenty of water every day.  Opinions on exactly how much vary.  Eight to nine 8-ounce glasses per day of water is a good starting point.  Keep a glass of water with you at all times.  Set challenges for yourself if you have a hard time drinking water.  For instance, if you're driving, chug water at every stop light (unless, of course, you're a long way from your destination with no restrooms in sight).  If you're sitting at your desk, take a large sip every five to ten minutes.  
10. Stop drinking soda.  It's disgusting.  And full of sugar.  Just stop.  There is nothing good about it.  If you are "addicted", switch to green tea.  Wean yourself from green tea to water.  You will see a lot of bloat go away just from eliminating sodas.  Don't switch from Coke to Diet Coke.  That's like switching from crack cocaine to heroin.  Either way, they're going to ruin you.  Give it up.
11. Plan your meals for the week and only get the food you need.  Stick with lean, organic cuts of meat, leafy green vegetables, unsalted almonds, organic eggs, organic fruits, reduced sodium tuna, and, if you need a carb, pick up a loaf of sprouted grain bread (found in the freezer section)-but eat in moderation.  Seriously.  Start your day off with a green smoothie by throwing spinach, banana, mango, and mixed berries in a blender with some water and a shot of agave nectar (in place of sugar).  You will feel full until it's time for your next meal in two hours.  
12. Yes, I said to eat every two hours.  Small portions every two hours keeps your metabolism going and burns more calories.  Don't buy into this nonsense about starving yourself.  That's a recipe for disaster, and you will ruin your metabolism, actually causing you to gain weight when you do eat.  Your body needs that fuel to burn calories.  A car can't run with no gas, can it?   
13. In case you were wondering, 3500 calories equals one pound.  Choose your foods wisely.     
14. EXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXERCISE.  Set yourself up mentally for this one.  Let's say you're beginning your lifestyle change (it's not a diet) tomorrow.  Tonight, set out your work out clothes and pump yourself up.  Have a little pep rally.  Hell, do a cheer if you need to.  Two days of exercise per week is NOT going to cut it.  Work outs are called that because you have to work at them.  Hell no, it's not going to be easy.  That's the fun of it.  Challenge yourself.  Push yourself.  You can do this.  Weight train at least three to four times a week, regardless of whether you're trying to build muscle or not.  Ladies, you are not structurally built like a man.  Lifting weights will not have you looking like Hulk Hogan (thank God).  Weight training utilizes muscles (duh).  Utilizing muscles burns calories, and continues to burn calories throughout the day.  The larger the muscle group worked, the more calories burned.  Weight training also improves movement, flexibility, strength, and endurance.  It's not just for body builders anymore.    
15. CARDIO, CARDIO, CARDIO.  In addition to weight training, a minimum of four nights of cardio is recommended.  This can be done in conjunction with your weight training circuit.  Cardiovascular exercise strengthens your heart, improves circulation, improves blood pressure, increases endurance, and burns calories like a mofo.  In addition to this, cardio causes your brain to release endorphins.   Ever hear of a "runner's high"?  It exists.  And it's incredible.  Why do you think I'm always so happy?  
16. Make time, not excuses.  You have time to exercise.  Don't feed me that bullshit you don't.  NO EXCUSES.  In the time it took you to whine about not having time, you could have done 20 burpees. If you don't know what a burpee is, you need to train with me.  Now.  If you want this badly enough (and I know you do), you will make it happen.  Just like, if you want brownies badly enough, you'll bake them.  Make working out your brownie.  And forgive the sweet analogy.  
17. Everybody has injuries or sore spots.  NO EXCUSES.  We give variations for injuries.  This is no excuse for skipping a workout.  I've trained determined people with broken legs, shoulder surgeries (still in a sling), and chest injuries.  MAKE SHIT HAPPEN.  You are less likely to injure yourself if you are in good shape, as your reaction time increases and your mind becomes sharp and focused.  
18. 60 minutes out of your whole day.  That's all it takes.  You have kids?  Who cares.  Get up an hour earlier while the kiddos are asleep and get it done.  Ensure that you have a healthy future for those little ones.  They are going to want you around.  That's your time.  Use it wisely.  

So here it is.  Your motivation.  The cold, hard truth.  it's not easy, and if it was, everyone would be doing it. It's not a diet.  It's a lifestyle change.  It takes twenty one days to form a habit, and approximately that same amount of time for you to start to see changes in your body.  DO NOT GIVE UP.  I promise you, getting healthy is the best investment you can make for your future.  When you need motivation, just look at how far you've come.  You can do this.  QUIT SLACKIN' AND MAKE SHIT HAPPEN.